How To Deal With StressI have learned a lot about how to deal with stress. I come up with a lot of my own ways to manage stress and other areas of life, but I have also picked up some fantastic tips that fill in the gaps, guide me to make adjustments, or reinforce what I've been doing. I realized the potential of my power to make decisions. I severed the head of
general anxiety disorder
with a
simple technique.
You're Pushin' My Buttons! After about a year of practicing choosing my response to stress, I gained a deeper understanding about how to deal with stress from Gary Smalley. We studied The DNA of Relationships in our bible study group. We all have certain buttons that, when pushed, send us into automatic response mode. We can remedy that by realizing what is really going on and purposely and strategically choose our response. Get on the offense instead of the defense. I don't mean offend the other person or get offended, I mean get proactive and do something positive to help the situation. Core Fear Gary Smalley identifies the source of our routine reactions to certain situations as the result of our core fear(s) being taunted or pricked. When we feel threatened, we lash out in defense. Understanding your core fear(s) and why you tend to react to stress in certain ways is your first step to living a stress free life. 2 Main Core Fears:
I think most people relate to this core fear. I know I do. I am very independent in many ways. If someone pushes or pressures me to do something, I shut down. I'm not an impulsive person; I think everything through and I'm slow to make decisions or make a move. In some ways that benefits me; in other ways that's a disadvantage. But, because that's natural for me, I tend to see the advantages more than the disadvantages. Yet, I find that I, too, have a tendency to control situations. I try to control the situations that might lead to the threatening of my core fear of being out of control and offended. So, during situations where I especially "need" to have things a certain way, I shift over from cool and calm to anxious and demanding. I fear that my husband will encounter something on TV, on the internet, or in public that will pollute his mind and heart. I take the same precautions for myself, as well. My husband and I are in agreement, but I usually take things a bit further. I have certain standards for what I can or cannot allow in our home, eyes, and ears. The quality of our influences are very important to me and I feel a strong sense of responsibility to make our home and entertainment safe and pure for my family. Stress stirred up in defense of your core fear(s) has to do with what you are afraid of and what you dread the most. You learn how to deal with stress by learning how to choose a more effective response. Do many of your negative reactions to situations point towards the fear that your spouse or someone else in your life might leave? Are you constantly fearful that your spouse will be unfaithful or leave you? Do you immediately feel anxiety and/or anger at every situation that even subtly suggests a potential for such an outcome? This is just one example of how this core fear relates to day to day actions. When something unwanted happens (someone cuts you off in traffic, your wallet is stolen, your spouse insults you), instead of reacting with anger, bitterness, or retaliation, formulate a response that will lend a hand in creating the family, home, and life you desire! Words of wisdom from
Little House On The Prairie:
These
tips for reducing stress
will expand on how to deal with stress. Return to Stress Management Techniques from How To Deal With Stress
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