Honesty In Marriage
Importance of Honesty in Marriage
Sometimes what you and your spouse need in order to have a passionate marriage is a good, healthy dose of truth. Nothing says distance and dis-ease in a marriage like hidden truth, betrayal, and a lack of trust.
When it comes to marriage, secrets can cause real problems. Whether a spouse knows or not, hidden truth that the spouse should know about can spread through a marriage like a cancer. There are lies or secrets that a spouse suspects may be existent and there are lies that are totally unknown, but should be settled up.
If you're the one doing the hiding and you just don't know how to come clean, first make sure you are right with God. Confess to Him what you have done and turn your life of sin over to Him in turn for receiving new life in Christ.
If you are at a place where you are torn inside and your heart aches that you have been hiding important facts or activities from your spouse, I suspect that you have already sought forgiveness from God, but that's where you start. By seeking God and being honest before Him, and receiving His grace, you can ask for Him to prepare your spouse's heart and mind for what you are going to tell him or her.
When The Truth Hurts
Disappointment, heart-break, betrayal, shock, numbness, bewilderment... These are some of the strongest feelings one can experience. When the truth hurts, your feelings will hit you with their best shot and attempt to drag you down into a pit.
But wait... There is yet another force that is mightier than those. That force is unconditional, sacrificial, long-suffering, and forgiving love. That kind of love can only come from God. That kind of love can bring you through and give you hope.
Lies perpetuate lies. As long as a trail and habit of lies are kept hidden in the dark, they will continue and multiply. Shed light on dishonesty to rob it of its power to lurk and thrive instead of it robbing you of a healthy marriage and soul.
Introducing honesty in marriage may bring immense pain and feelings of anger and insecurity, but those feelings can make way to peace, healing, and abundant life. Even though it hurts, try to appreciate the power and importance of revealed truth.
When you're going through any trial, such as establishing trust and honesty in marriage, choosing to love and forgive will be the basis for repairing and nurturing your marriage.
The Aftermath Of Honesty In Marriage
Once the truth has been disclosed, it's normal for the lied-to spouse to not be able to see clearly how they or the marriage will be able to recover from such devastation. With God, all things are possible.
There is a process of healing and reaffirmation that must take place for both of you to move on together. You probably don't need to just get back to normal, but instead move forward to a new and improved marriage.
Keeping a daily journal may help you to process your thoughts. You can share what you wrote with your spouse or at least use what you wrote to guide your next conversation.
Communication: Key To Healing
Communication in marriage
and talking things through with your spouse is essential. They told you the truth, now they can hear needed truth from you about what you're feeling and thinking. It's important that they honestly answer your questions, as well.
Make it clear to your spouse if you are feeling especially tender and vulnerable. You may be ultra-sensitive to certain things right now. Ask them to not over-step certain boundaries that you cannot help but set. If you make progress with healing, this will slowly pass and you will experience freedom and victory.
Furthermore, a regular flow of gentle, affirming words and deeds of love and adoration will allow healing to take place. If you're the one that was lied-to, you may not want to cut your spouse any slack or view them as needing healing, but if they are genuinely remorseful and broken up about what they did, validate their own need for healing, too.
On top of that, it takes a lot of guts to admit to a mistake or something they think you may hate them for. Even if it was not originally their idea to fess up but you instead cornered them with your own knowledge and questions, if they cooperate, you can work together to heal and move on.
Don't snub your partner's needs; listen and try to comply with mutual respect. You will be rewarded over time with an abundance and renewed richness in your relationship!
Purging your relationship of deception, anger, and fear will make way for peace, trust, respect, security, and a clearer understanding of how to maintain honesty in marriage. As long as you and your spouse choose to love each other, your marriage can handle a shaking without breaking.
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