Christian CourtingChristian courting is when two people devoted to Christ use a courtly behavior in their premarital relationship that is elegant in manners, polite, stately, and refined. It's more than just a method or act of gentleness. There should be an emphasis on learning to do what's best for the other person and the relationship and to prepare for a successful marriage. That doesn't resemble our society's typical dating scene does it? When you see the word “dating”, what does it mean to you? Using your own judgment and going out with someone with lustful and selfish motives. Or Dating who God has planned for you, the way He has planned. You can’t always know right away if the person you are mutually interested in dating is the one God has for you. But, through Christian courting, you can avoid many problems by guarding your heart, keeping your clothes on, and not staying in the relationship once the peace of God has left your heart. The problems with dating someone with the wrong motives You’re setting yourself up for emotional games and disappointments. You’re opening unnecessary doors of temptation to have sex or to make other poor decisions. So, while dating simply means making an appointment to meet with someone you like, the term has come to mean doing whatever you feel is right and going out to have fun. Our culture, our schools, and our government are no longer Christ, marriage, and commitment-minded. Let's get rid of that mindset. Let's get into the mindset of christian courting. Inspiring Christian Love Story A girl from Kansas, and a guy from Ohio. One-thousand miles separated them; no way for paths to cross, and no idea the other even existed. But they had a desire in their hearts to have God’s best for their marriage partners, and commitment to wait until He would show them who and when it was to happen... Beautiful & Exciting Love Story of Josh & Anna Duggar You are sure to be inspired as you read this thrilling, God-honoring love story. Josh is the oldest of 19 siblings (and counting) and Anna also comes from a large family... "We hope that our story will encourage each young person to wait for God’s best in their life partner!" - Josh & Anna Duggar Read this great article: Courting In A Modern World Click on "Courtship: Formula or Faith?" on the magazine cover. Christian Courting Mentality Before you can enter into a proper, Christian courtship, you must wait on and trust the Lord to put you in the right place at the right time to meet the right person. In other words, don't waste your time on obviously wrong offers for your affection. Turn anyone down who is not interested in Christian courting. God can do in a year or two what you can’t do yourself in a lifetime. I've seen girls who are adamant about staying sexually pure before marriage, but boy do they flaunt their bodies while they are waiting. Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.” Ladies, let your confidence be in the Lord, not how cute and sensuous you can be. Change your wardrobe if you must, but dress in a way that enlists respect and shows that you know what's really important. Don't try to be like someone else on TV or in a magazine.
There could never be a more beautiful you!
So, you think you have found the person you will spend the rest of your life with? Great! Personally, I had that sensing right from the start of my relationship with my husband. I was 15 years old and my husband was 18 when we met and began dating. I understand completely how strong physical and emotional feelings can be. But, those feelings don't have to guide you into sexual activity or dictate your decisions. Rules Of Engagement During Christian courting, engagement does not equal marriage. This is not the time to give in to sexual desires and
begin living together.
You must make the ultimate decision that every Christian has to make: “I will walk according to the Spirit and not according to the flesh.” The difference between the Spirit and the flesh The flesh always provides a way of entrance into sin and ease of giving into temptation. The Holy Spirit always provides a way of escape that leads to victory over sin and temptation. (1 Cor. 10:13) Christian courting will allow you to see clearly whether or not you are equally yoked. (2 Corinth. 6:14) The importance of this is the other person can understand why you, as a Christian and a lady or gentleman, don’t want to have sex before marriage. He or she can cooperate with you to mutually agree and help each other to stay pure. The world has strayed so far from old fashioned living and its principles of Christian courtship. People would have you believe that those conservative ways are impractical and irrelevant. That is just not true! It is realistic. It is still the best way to live and engage in a premarital relationship! Realize that any attempt on the other person's part to get you to have sex is just the flesh talking. Don't go down that road. Neither of you will die if you wait to live together and have sex until you have sealed your commitment to each other in marriage. Help each other out. Remind each other lovingly but firmly of your goal and decision. Encourage each other to keep your standards high. Stay in communion with God. Get each other off your minds long enough commit your ways and plans to Him. Wisdom: Doing now what you will be happy with later Do what’s right now and enjoy the consequences of having used wisdom later, in your marriage. Don’t be fooled. The Holy Spirit will never lead you to do something that isn’t affirmed and encouraged by the Bible. What our friends do have a strong affect on us, especially our best friends. If they become sexually active, even after they said they wouldn’t before marriage, do not follow suit. Remember that there are often deep-seeded problems in people’s hearts that lead them to this behavior. Many times girls give in or even initiate sex because they don’t feel good about themselves and need the love (or what seems like love) of a man in their lives. Ex: They don’t have a good relationship with their dad. Stay focused on Jesus and keep moving forward in God’s purpose for you. Discard the old "dating" mentality and embrace the christian courtship mentality. Fools Rush In Don't rush into anything. Infatuation and excitement while "dating" is tricky and very emotional. Until you marry, you never really know if the person you are spending time with will end up being someone elses spouse and not yours! So, proceed with caution and care for the person you are with as though you are keeping them sound, pure, and healthy for their future spouse - which may or may not be you! You have to think and approach relationships this way on purpose. Wrap everything you do around Christ. If it doesn't look good on Him, remove it from your life. When the time and person seems right, enter into a Christian courtship and have a purposeful, Spirit-led, marriage-minded relationship. Oh, and yes, you can smile and laugh and enjoy each others company! BOTTOM LINE Do what’s best for you and your relationship. God’s way is always the best way. These are just a couple of timeless principles and values that come from goodMy husband and I didn’t have what you may have right now. We were living like the world and not serving the Lord when we met, dated, and even early in marriage, but God was in it from the beginning. We experienced a lot of strife in our relationship before we allowed God to change us. The marriage, love, commitment, and bond that we have now makes us greatly appreciate each other and the goodness of God. We weren’t being prepared by God in the ways you have the opportunity to be with teaching, discipleship, and a personal pursuit of God. But by His grace and power, He took our mess and turned it into a message to glorify Him. No matter how much you go to church or how much teaching and discipleship you receive, you will not benefit from living by God’s principles unless you:
Hey, you may not want to meet him or her just yet. Perhaps you may not be ready for him or her to meet you just yet, either. Or maybe it will be sooner rather than later. The point is don’t stifle God’s plan for you. Wait on God and actively trust Him. You don’t need all the emotional drama, that we experienced, in your relationship just because you think that’s what God needs to work with in order to be glorified as you submit to Him. Your relationship and marriage can actually, for the most part, be strife-free and will glorify God just as much as, if not more than, my marriage. Don’t settle for less. God will give you more than you could ever ask or think. Return to True Love Waits from Christian Courting
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