Bed Time Routine Battle

Like many families, our daughter's bed time routine used to leave much to be desired. Now, however, our typical bed time experience with our daughter is a dream, considering all things.

You can turn your current, bed time routine nightmare into a dream as well IF you are willing to do the work. Perfection is not required, though the more strict and consistent you are, the better.

When we moved into our current house, our daughter was 17 months old. We put her crib in the parents' retreat (a room attached to the master bedroom by a large opening). That was her bedroom for the next 19 months.

Her bed time routine challenge had begun. Naturally, she wanted to stay up and not be separated from us and whatever we were doing while we were still awake and moving around the other parts of the house. She cried and fussed most nights, from what I remember...

Determined To Have Structure

From the start, we decided she was going to sleep in her own bed. Not with us and not somewhere else in the house.

Shortly after she turned two years old, we transitioned her crib into a toddler bed. By age three, her first, very own bedroom was in the works. My husband taped and textured the walls in the spare room we chose for her. Then, we put up a darling border and two richly inspiring colors on the walls.

I remember her first night in her new room. She was calmly mesmerized and obviously pleased. She settled into her bed, pulled up the covers, and gazed around at the enchanting walls that were delicately illuminated by her first-ever night light.

I asked her if she wanted me to stay with her a little while. She said, "No, you can go." We said goodnight and we didn't hear a sound from her bedroom for the rest of the evening.

Seems like a simple and relieving end to the previous noisy, tear-filled, and defiant bed time routine doesn't it? Was this the breakthrough we needed? Let's just say that the newness and initial intrigue of her own bedroom wore off rather quickly as the days and weeks passed.

That was actually when the real bed time challenge begun! Or, at least, she was picking up where she left off. This was our ideal bed time routine. Brush her teeth, go potty at some point before bed, read books in her room for 15 minutes or more, night light on, "big" (bedroom) light off, sing a song, pray or speak God's blessings or promises, parent leaves the room.

We (my husband helps, too) determined to be consistent with that routine. The "trick" to having success with anything in life is to not give up when your success or victory is waiting for you right around the corner. That's usually when we give up.

Why We Give Up Too Soon

When things get tough, people who lose sight of their goal and don't trust enough in the process to continue doing what they know to do - buckle and become disoriented under the pressure. When you feel discouraged, at your wit's end, horribly unsuccessful and ineffective, and intensely pressed from all sides, that's when you need to press on and break through.

Don't give up! As with other areas of child discipline, there were many times when I wanted to be negative and make the "poor me" excuses of "Nothing I do ever works like 'they' say it will" or "This is going nowhere; why can't she just do as she's told!" Gather your resolve, hone your skills, sharpen your approach, and watch the "magic" happen right before your eyes!

So, that's what I did for the months that my daughter fought the start and ending of her bed time routine. She loved the middle part of reading books and interacting, but she was reluctant to brush her teeth and acted as though she was being abandoned when it was time to leave her alone for the night.

Each time I made a mistake or realized how I was being manipulated or was just lazy, I learned from it and determined to do better next time.

Speaking of being lazy. Just recently one evening, I sat down on the couch to relax and watch Little House on The Prairie on DVD (part of my own bed time routine). I told my daughter it was time to brush her teeth (and thus begin her routine).

She enlisted my help. I said, "Can you brush your teeth by yourself tonight?" I usually monitor to make sure she does an adequate job. She must have agreed because the next thing I remember thinking was I wonder what she is doing.

Snug as a Bug in a... Sleeping Bag?

When I went to check on her, I couldn't hear or see her anywhere. All the lights were off in that part of the house. All except for one - her night light.

Now, keep in mind that she was just four years old at the time of this incident. What I realized and saw evidence of was that she had brushed her teeth, played quietly in her room, and when she was done, turned on her night light, turned off her bedroom light, and what I saw was her asleep in her bed. Snug as a bug in a sleeping bag. :)

One of the neatest things about it was the fact that there wasn't a sheet on her mattress. I had taken it off to wash it earlier that day and forgot to put a clean one on. That didn't stop my daughter. No, she just went to her closet, found her sleeping bag, skillfully draped it over her bed, got her pillow and blanket, and went to sleep.

So, with the right effort and routine properly applied, your child might even be able to put him or herself to bed! However, I don't encourage that for young children as I believe that the interaction and reading part of a child's bed time routine is very important and should be treasured, so this kind of thing is not our new routine.

I have gone from feeling like I was failing miserably to achieving progressive success. Set your routine and standards. Keep your vision of what you want your child's bed time routine to look like (and every area of your life) before you at all times.

You will walk into whatever you are focusing on. Walk into victory! :)

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